Everything Was Possible and Nothing Made Sense

The title of this post is from the show Follies. It's part of the lyric to the song "Waiting for the Girls Upstairs", when the 4 main characters, Ben, Buddy, Phyllis and Sally, reminisce about their youth and the time when life's choices seemed so complicated and yet the reality was that they had it easy and didn't know it. Ha!

I choreographed Follies recently for Dogwood Dell Festival of the Arts in Richmond, Virginia. I lived in Richmond from 1994-1998 and I guess Joe Pabst (the wonderful director and human being) needed a choreographer and he decided to hire ME. : ) When I got the email I was shocked! It's as if Joe read my mind. For years I had been wanting to choreograph Follies, but never thought I would get the opportunity, mostly because it's a show that is rarely produced.

But I did get the chance, thanks to Joe and his email and the wonderful people at Dogwood Dell Festival of the Arts. The show opened last weekend and apparently did very well in its opening dates, so now, I am thrilled at the anticipation, because I am going to see it (and my work, my sweat and tears) this Saturday, August 12. Please pray that it doesn't rain! : )

Dogwood Dell is an outdoor amphitheatre that seats over 2000 people. Another fantastic opportunity to show my choreography in a large space. Since I've moved to DC in 98, I've had many many wonderful opportunities as a performer and choreographer, I've worked for most of the major theatres in the DC area and I got to be a small part (swing-ensemble) of a fantastic production of Follies at Signature Theatre back in 2003. What a thrill that was!

But in the last 4-5 years, I have been focusing solely on choreography, on creating dances (and occasionally fights) for the stage. It has been a wonderful journey that I wouldn't trade for anything. Sure, occasionally I get the twinge to be back ON the stage instead of behind the scenes, but it goes away when I get to choreograph a fantastic number like "Who's That Woman" or "The Story of Lucy & Jessie".

The experience of going back to Richmond (after a 6 year absence) to choreograph Follies was in a way a total mirror ("Mirror! Mirror!" that immortal line from "Who's That Woman" has so much resonance) of the story of the 4 main characters in Follies. I was back, 6 years later (instead of the 30 years of the Weisman Follies girls), to the place I had been, and of course, as it happens with these things, I was flooded with memories of the past. The "ghosts" of Richmond past so to speak, my own personal "roads I didn't take" came back to haunt me. Well, not sure if "haunt" is the appropriate word....more like, they stopped by to say "hello"..they greeted me and went on their merry way.

Of the entire cast (and it's a big one) of Follies, there were only 4 cast members that I knew back in my Richmond days, and of course, the director, but just those 5 people was enough to bring up so many memories of the 4 years I spent in that city and it was quite a reminder of how much has changed since then and yet, how much has stayed the same.

Anyway, I suspect that when I go to see Follies on Saturday, those same themes will come at me again, as they did before. Memories, the past coming back to visit, the mystery of "the roads we didn't take", the "what if"s and the "woulda, coulda, shoulda"s of life. I guess that is what Sondheim/Goldman/Bennett and Prince had in mind when they originally put Follies together for Broadway in 1971. They wanted not just their characters to take a trip down "memory lane", but they also wanted their audiences to think about their own lives, the path they have taken and what they have done with them and would they have changed anything and really, does it even matter?

And after I see Follies on Saturday (also the closing night), it too will fade into memory, it will become something that I "did" rather than something I am currently working on. And then, once again, all that will be left will be the memories of the rehearsals, chatting with the various cast members, the sweaty dance studio, the designers and the production team and my 2 weeks in Richmond in all its glory.

Human memory is a funny thing, it always makes us long for what was instead of what might be. It keeps us looking back instead of forward. It gives us a yearning for nostalgia, for the "what if"s.

But maybe we need those memories, those mental post-it notes, reminding us of what was, they give us comfort, a sense of security, so that we can move on to what will be, the unexpected of what is yet to come.

Who knows? I certainly don't have the answers. But I know one thing, I thoroughly enjoyed choreographing Follies, it will remain a special experience for me, always, and that is something that no future event can take away. At least I know, even if I never get another opportunity to choreograph this show, I will at least have the memories of the fun I had working on this special production.